Thus Spake a Korean Kindergartener

One of my first days teaching kindergarteners English as a second language in Korea, I learned a really important lesson: five-year-olds are not as dumb as they look. We were building small boats out of a type of plasticine. We had a tub of water for them to try out their boats. One boy came to me and said, “Teacher, why no float?” 

 I looked at the wad of gummy material he had vaguely molded into a boat shape and said, “Uh, there’s too much crap on the bottom of your boat. You need to take that off as a start.” I was flustered as fifteen other children were shoving their creations in my face too and asking why their boats sucked. I tended to other boats and eventually the boy reappeared with his newly streamlined boat and showed it to me. 

 “Teacher,” he said, “Is so many craps?” 

 And thus began my illustrious English teaching career.